The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”.
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like
“fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
“th” by z" and “w” by “ v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords
kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!!
欧盟委员会宣布，已达成协议，将英语作为欧洲交流的首选语言，而不是另一种可能的选择——德语。作为谈判的一部分，英国政府承认英语拼写有改进的空间，并接受了一项为期五年的分阶段计划，这种新形式的英语将被称为“欧式英语”（简称Euro）。
在第一年，“s”将被用来代替软音“c”。当然，公务员们会欣喜地接受这一消息。同时，硬音“c”将被“k”取代。这不仅能清除混淆，还能让打字机少一个字母。
第二年，公众的热情将逐步高涨，此时麻烦的“ph”将被“f”取代。这将使“photograph”（摄影）这样的单词缩短20%。
到了第三年，公众对新拼写的接受程度将达到可以进行更复杂改动的阶段。各国政府将鼓励去掉双字母，因为双字母一直是准确拼写的障碍。此外，所有人将同意，语言中沉默的“e”所造成的混乱是可耻的，因此它们将被去除。
到第四年，人们将接受更进一步的改动，例如用“z”取代“th”，以及用“v”取代“w”。
在第五年期间，多余的“o”将从包含“ou”的单词中删除，类似的改动也将适用于其他字母组合。
在第五年之后，我们将拥有一种真正合理的书写风格。届时将不再有任何麻烦或困难，每个人都能轻松地理解彼此。
梦想终于会成真！！！